story

The Valedictorian
By Bonnie Black

It’s 1:00pm on this Friday afternoon. The sun beams down on my back, and my dark blue gown soaks up the heat. The tassle on my cap refuses to stay in place. The metal chair hurts my butt, as I have very little meat back there to protect me. I’ve lost complete interest in what Mr. Gray is preaching about up at the podium. I choose to focus on the cleanliness of my nails instead. Mr. Gray introduces the valedictorian, Joshua Michaels. Typical kid. Popular but not arrogant. Attractive, but not alarmingly so. Good grades, usually voted class president for his like-ability and the fact that his overall average-ness allows him to get along with most people. Not very athletic, but member of the track team. He goes to some parties, but only important ones. He’s funny, but not loud.
“First of all, I would like to say Congratulations to all of my classmates.”
Nothing out of the ordinary.
“It is truly amazing to see how all of you have grown.”
The microphone, combined with his elegantly projected voice, creates an echoe.
“Throughout the past four years, all 350 of us have not only grown physically, but mentally, and emotionally. The teachers have offered us all so much, in order to help guide us into becoming a functioning part of the real world. However remembering historical dates and algorithims are not all that one needs to survive in this day and age. They may have taught us in the classrooms, but we have taught eachother the rest.”
Typical, normal, mundane, average, etcetera.
“But what is that? What is it that we have learned? What value do the things we are forced to memorize in school really hold? That this is what we need to survive in this capitalist dogma we are now being thrown into without any acknowledgment as to whether or not this is what we even want out of life? That this is our only option? This is all we get? And what basic facts of life have we, the students, taught one another? That the price you pay for your shoes determines your value as a human being? That you are no one in this school unless you can successfully roll a blunt? That you look coolest when you post pictures on your online profile of you and your buddies wasted throwing up kissy faces and peace signs? You all think you're untouchable, that the real issues in the world will never have any affect on you. That the teachers have taught you all you need to know, and even if they did you rarely payed attention. Do you not care that the life you're leading right now means nothing? That you know nothing of value?"
I see the teachers look around in a panic.
"You think you're too good for all of this. You think you've seen pain and suffering, but you haven't seen shit. You think you've had a rough life, and that you're stronger for getting through the nothingness that has happened to you in your life, but none of you are strong. None of you have felt real pain. Neither have I, but I acknowledge it's presence and I, unlike the rest of you, have goals to help the real problems in the world. The problems that are real and life threatening and that don't revolve around whether or not you should have sex with your best friends boyfriend.”
Some teachers stand up and run around trying to find someone who could turn off the speakers or something to control this sudden madness.
"You are going to leave this school and you will do nothing but become you’re parents and fade into nothingness."
He points at Samantha Brown.
"You will marry a man who will beat you."
He points at Johnathan Myers.
"You will have 2.5 children and a golden retriever named Sam."
He points at a group of boys in the upper right corner of the rows.
"You will work in an office. You will wake up at 7 every morning and you will get home at 6. You will work for the corporations that are killing our environment. You will be another puppet for the government and your life and well being won't mean shit to them."
He points at girls up front.
"You will have dinner waiting for your husband every single day when he arrives home."
He points at no one in particular.
"You will have nothing to live for but you will ignore that because thoughts too deep make you sad. You will get AIDs because your wife is fucking the gardner and you will be surprised because you thought only faggots got that and you will be scared that now no one will want to play basketball with you because they’ll think you are one of THOSE PEOPLE.”
The microphone has now been unplugged. Parents look at eachother in horror. This does not stop or phase him. He regains his composure, and continues, projecting louder.
“So congratulations to all of my classmates. You are nothing. You are no one. You will fade into the crowds on the street. And you will die with no legacy. You will be another headstone and people will walk over your decaying body in the graveyard as if you never even existed. And you all sit here looking at me with blank faces, and this speech probably means nothing to you. You will go to the after party tonight and get blazed and sleep with those kids you’ve always wanted to.”
Mr. Gray politely asks him to finish speaking. The security guards slowly approach the podium.
“You will forget this speech. You will forget my face. You will forget that you once had a chance to live and you gave it up because you couldn’t even wake up from your society-induced comatose to notice it.”
He paused then smiled.
“See you all at the after party.”
And then he was escorted off the stage. Some stood up and clapped. Some looked around in confusion. The next speaker was announced. And everything continued as it had been planned.