“As adults, we have forgotten most of our childhood. Not only it’s content, but it’s flavor.” –R.D. Lang
I was born in Texas. I remember sitting on my lawn all the time as a kid. I remember what it felt like when I was 3 and I was playing in an ant bed. The ants crawled up my stockings and were biting me and my mom was on the phone in the house and assumed I was dancing so simply gave me a thumbs up and continued to ignore me until I came to the house with my stockings around my ankles.
I remember walking to the park in front of the college down the block by myself and buying a Lime popsicle from the guy with the ice cream cart. I remember that it was sour but sweet and the ice would just fall apart in your mouth and I would always crave it. I remember my neighbors and the guy who would always make my mom and I come in so he could give us books and Sesame Street magazines. I remember sitting on the lawn trying to make a puppet show with friends. I remember using some lady’s furniture to make a clubhouse in the garage in the back with my friend without her knowing. Only to have her take all of her furniture back the next day. I remember my dad bringing home a dog without my mom knowing. I remember sitting on his lap eating Oreos with milk. I remember seeing my mom cry for the first time.
I remember my preschool. I remember the first day. We were at lunch outside because it’s Texas and the weather’s always perfect so we were always outside. I couldn’t open my chocolate pudding, the kind with the dark chocolate with the stripe of milk chocolate in the middle. I asked a boy to open it for me and he couldn’t so he offered to take it to the teachers to open it for me. He didn’t come back till the end of lunch and when he finally did, he had chocolate smeared on his mouth. And I could feel the tears welling up behind my eyes. I remember sitting in class learning how to set a table the proper way. I remember when my friend and I thought we should find the best rock and the way we would judge whether or not it was the best rock was to see if it could fit in our ears. I would put the rocks in my ear, and after an excruciating period of rock judging, we found the perfect rock. It fit perfectly in my ear. And then I couldn’t get it out, and none of the teachers could either, so my mom had to come pick me up and I remember she was in a suit and had to pull it out with tweezers in the bathroom. I remember when they would give us snacks of celery with peanut butter on it with raisins on top. It was called Frogs on a Log. I remember dragging my dad to the playroom in school making him watch a play I forced my friends to do, even though I pretty much played every character because they couldn’t do it right. I remember when kids would come in with home made lemonade icees and they tasted so good I would try to make them at home but they just never turned out right. I remember my Dad’s girlfriend refusing to bring me lunch. I remember she had really long red nails. The kind that are so long that they start to curve. And her lipstick always matched her nail color and I hated her.
When I see pictures, I can remember specific details about maybe that dress or that place or that person. Theres a picture of me, I was probably around 7, visiting my Dad in Texas. I was getting ready because he was going to take me to a Spice Girls concert, my first concert ever. We had to dress up like one of the members of the band and I chose to dress liek sporty spice. I wore sweat pants and a top and my stepmom put my hair up in a high ponytail. To complete the look, I neededmy dad to draw a tattoo on my arm that matches hers. I remember standing there for a long time watching him draw it on my arm. I was so scared he would mess it up, and when he didn't I was so amazed. My Dad could do anything.
When I look at the picture, I remember that shirt I was wearing and those pants. I feel like I could go in my drawers and be able to find it. I remember the apartment my dad and stepmother were living at at the time. I remember being so excited.
I remember a lot about my childhood. I remember big events and I remember little things. I remember the way things smelled and the way they tasted and the way it felt and the way I felt. I know I remember a lot about my childhood, especially when I sit down and try to think about it. My childhood is what has made me, so I’m not surprised that it comes so detailed to me. The major events in my childhood are what have altered the way I feel, act, think now. Even though, as I try to think of what events may have impacted me the most, the most negative memories come to mind, I know it’s the small good memories that have helped along the way as well. They seemed so much more important at the time. They were what mattered. Not until I got older did I realize that I was just too young to understand the impact of certain things and that the fact that I didn’t get the exact Barbie that I wanted wasn’t going to be the thing that would change me forever.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
personal reaction 3
According to the excerpt reading, we are all zombie-like, barely existing in the world. Personally, I can see how one may think that, but I also believe not all humans are living like that. Clearly the one who developed this theory was one of the exceptions, considering he was wise enough to notice the way we live.
However, I do believe there are ways that the theory proves to be true in our daily lives. We are often consumed with simply where we are going and the quickest way to get there. There are always new gadgets, new technology, that is supposed to make our lives more enjoyable but are simply taking away from our experiance. As we walk down the streets we don't notice the way the air smells or the way our feet are hitting the ground, because we are too consumed with drowning out the surrounding world with our iPods and trying our best to be as unnoticable as possible. We become so obsessed with miniscule things that we think will make our lives easier at the moment. We believe that paying 150 for a new pair of shoes will change the way we go about our daily lives because it will make us better and more presentable. But will we remember these things one day in 20 years?
Yet, at the same time, will we remember the way our foot felt on the pavement one day in 20 years?
Although we may not live our lives remembering every aspect of our dreams or our childhood, we still remember the most crucial and life changing parts. However, one can also say that at the end of our lives will we care about clothing and our best purchases, or whether or not we truly lived.
I personally think I have the ability to notice when the space between my thumb and forefinger has an itchy feeling, or that the way I'm sitting right now is slightly cutting off the circulation in my leg and hurting the bone in my butt, and that my pinky toe is hurting. Is this not experiencing what my body is feeling? I feel every aspect of pain in my body, and every part that feels fine, I just choose to ignore the parts that are hurting because I am in class and there are other things to be focusing on. Like writing what I'm feeling.
According to the sensory excersize activities we have been doing in class, we truly do not notice the tiny things in our life. When we ignore the rest of the things in life and simply feel what it is like to exist, we realize that the essence of living is much more complex than an iPod may lead us to believe. As I did the sensory awareness excersizes, I found myself doing routine, rhythmic things. Such as when we performed the sensory excersize in which we just stood in silence for 5 minutes, I would catch myself getting lost in counting the number of chips in the paint on the wall or the amount of tape used on the paper or reading the words on the signs over and over again. Sometimes I would also find myself tapping my finger or shaking my leg. These ritual things were probably a way for me to calm myself down without having to be so uncomfortable by just focusing on my heart rate or breathing. I would stand with pressure in my knees, and my toes would often wiggle in order to keep my balance. I would become more aware of the itches on my face, and they would probably be amplified because I was so focused on them and the fact that I couldn't move to scratch them. During one excersize, I stood with my arms crossed, probably to avoid having anyone look at my stomach completely relaxed. Due to the fact that I was standing so tensely, without even realizing it, I lost the ability to breathe deeply.
For one excersize, we were sent to the first floor, blindfolded, then told to find our way back up to the classroom. I realized the entire time I relied on other people or things. If I wasn't touching a wall or holding the railing along the stairs, or holding someone's hand, I would get dizzy and often loose my balance, or get completely turned around. Again, I would get lost in a form of counting, counting the number of steps for each landing.
As we did the yoga excersizes, I did notice that there were parts of my body that were very tense. Even simple parts of my body that I use every day, such as my calf or my thigh, were also stiff. What was interesting to me is that if I got into a position that would strain parts of my body that hurt or was uncomfortable, after a while my body would get used to it and accept it, probably the same way it accepts sitting in a hard chair for 6 hours every day. I walked out of that class feeling loose, and like if any muscle in my body needed to be used, it was relaxed and ready for the job. However, the next day I felt the after-affects. My body was very sore, mostly my stomach and thighs. The following days I would notice how tight my body felt, unfortunately this was how my body felt every day, I have just been so used to it for so long that I wasn't aware of how loose it could actually feel. I decided that as a way to help my body, I should make an attempt at doing yoga more often in order to feel that loose feeling again and get to a point where I no longer feel sore or tense the following days. However, chances are I won't have enough time, or I simply just won't think it's important enough to get out of bed to do.
However, I do believe there are ways that the theory proves to be true in our daily lives. We are often consumed with simply where we are going and the quickest way to get there. There are always new gadgets, new technology, that is supposed to make our lives more enjoyable but are simply taking away from our experiance. As we walk down the streets we don't notice the way the air smells or the way our feet are hitting the ground, because we are too consumed with drowning out the surrounding world with our iPods and trying our best to be as unnoticable as possible. We become so obsessed with miniscule things that we think will make our lives easier at the moment. We believe that paying 150 for a new pair of shoes will change the way we go about our daily lives because it will make us better and more presentable. But will we remember these things one day in 20 years?
Yet, at the same time, will we remember the way our foot felt on the pavement one day in 20 years?
Although we may not live our lives remembering every aspect of our dreams or our childhood, we still remember the most crucial and life changing parts. However, one can also say that at the end of our lives will we care about clothing and our best purchases, or whether or not we truly lived.
I personally think I have the ability to notice when the space between my thumb and forefinger has an itchy feeling, or that the way I'm sitting right now is slightly cutting off the circulation in my leg and hurting the bone in my butt, and that my pinky toe is hurting. Is this not experiencing what my body is feeling? I feel every aspect of pain in my body, and every part that feels fine, I just choose to ignore the parts that are hurting because I am in class and there are other things to be focusing on. Like writing what I'm feeling.
According to the sensory excersize activities we have been doing in class, we truly do not notice the tiny things in our life. When we ignore the rest of the things in life and simply feel what it is like to exist, we realize that the essence of living is much more complex than an iPod may lead us to believe. As I did the sensory awareness excersizes, I found myself doing routine, rhythmic things. Such as when we performed the sensory excersize in which we just stood in silence for 5 minutes, I would catch myself getting lost in counting the number of chips in the paint on the wall or the amount of tape used on the paper or reading the words on the signs over and over again. Sometimes I would also find myself tapping my finger or shaking my leg. These ritual things were probably a way for me to calm myself down without having to be so uncomfortable by just focusing on my heart rate or breathing. I would stand with pressure in my knees, and my toes would often wiggle in order to keep my balance. I would become more aware of the itches on my face, and they would probably be amplified because I was so focused on them and the fact that I couldn't move to scratch them. During one excersize, I stood with my arms crossed, probably to avoid having anyone look at my stomach completely relaxed. Due to the fact that I was standing so tensely, without even realizing it, I lost the ability to breathe deeply.
For one excersize, we were sent to the first floor, blindfolded, then told to find our way back up to the classroom. I realized the entire time I relied on other people or things. If I wasn't touching a wall or holding the railing along the stairs, or holding someone's hand, I would get dizzy and often loose my balance, or get completely turned around. Again, I would get lost in a form of counting, counting the number of steps for each landing.
As we did the yoga excersizes, I did notice that there were parts of my body that were very tense. Even simple parts of my body that I use every day, such as my calf or my thigh, were also stiff. What was interesting to me is that if I got into a position that would strain parts of my body that hurt or was uncomfortable, after a while my body would get used to it and accept it, probably the same way it accepts sitting in a hard chair for 6 hours every day. I walked out of that class feeling loose, and like if any muscle in my body needed to be used, it was relaxed and ready for the job. However, the next day I felt the after-affects. My body was very sore, mostly my stomach and thighs. The following days I would notice how tight my body felt, unfortunately this was how my body felt every day, I have just been so used to it for so long that I wasn't aware of how loose it could actually feel. I decided that as a way to help my body, I should make an attempt at doing yoga more often in order to feel that loose feeling again and get to a point where I no longer feel sore or tense the following days. However, chances are I won't have enough time, or I simply just won't think it's important enough to get out of bed to do.
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
personal reaction, revised 2
According to the excerpt reading, we are all zombie-like, barely existing in the world. Personally, I can see how one may think that, but I also believe not all humans are living like that. Clearly the one who developed this theory was one of the exceptions, considering he was wise enough to notice the way we live.
However, I do believe there are ways that the theory proves to be true in our daily lives. We are often consumed with simply where we are going and the quickest way to get there. There are always new gadgets, new technology, that is supposed to make our lives more enjoyable but are simply taking away from our experiance. As we walk down the streets we don't notice the way the air smells or the way our feet are hitting the ground, because we are too consumed with drowning out the surrounding world with our iPods and trying our best to be as unnoticable as possible. We become so obsessed with miniscule things that we think will make our lives easier at the moment. We believe that paying 150 for a new pair of shoes will change the way we go about our daily lives because it will make us better and more presentable. But will we remember these things in 20 years?
Yet, at the same time, will we remember the way our foot felt on the pavement one day in 20 years?
Although we may not live our lives remembering every aspect of our dreams or our childhood, we still remember the most crucial and life changing parts.
I personally think I have the ability to notice when the space between my thumb and forfinger has an itchy feeling, or that the way im sitting right now is slightly cutting off the circulation in my leg and hurting the bone in my butt, and that my pinky toe is hurting. Is this not experiancing what my body is feeling? I feel every aspect of pain in my body, and every part that feels okay, I just choose to ignore the parts that are hurting because I am in class and there are other things to be focusing on. Like writing what I'm feeling.
According to the sensory excersize activities we have been doing in class, we truly do not notice the tiny things in our life. When we ignore the rest of the things in life and simply feel what it is like to exist, we realize that the essence of living is much more complex than an iPod may lead us to believe. As I did the sensary awareness excersizes, I found myself doing routine, rhythmic things. I would catch myself getting lost in counting the number of chips in the paint on the wall or the amount of tape used on the paper or reading the words on the signs over and over again. Sometimes I would also find myself tapping my finger or shaking my leg. These ritual things were probably a way for me to calm myself down without having to be so uncomfortable by just focusing on my heart rate or breathing.
As we did the yoga excersizes, I did notice that there were parts of my body that were very tense. Even simple parts of my body that I use every day, such as my calf or my thigh. What was interesting to me is that if I got into a position that would strain parts of my body that hurt or was uncomfrotable, after a while my body would get used to it and accept it, probably the same way it accepts sitting in a hard chair for 6 hours every day. I walked out of that class feeling loose, and like if any muscle in my body needed to be used, it was relaxed and ready for the job. However, the next day I felt the after-affects. My body was very sore, mostly my stomach and thighs. The following days I would notice how tight my body felt, yet this was how my body felt every day. I decided that as a way to help my body, I should make an attempt at doing yoga more often in order to feel that loose feeling again and get to a point where I no longer feel sore or tense the following days.
However, I do believe there are ways that the theory proves to be true in our daily lives. We are often consumed with simply where we are going and the quickest way to get there. There are always new gadgets, new technology, that is supposed to make our lives more enjoyable but are simply taking away from our experiance. As we walk down the streets we don't notice the way the air smells or the way our feet are hitting the ground, because we are too consumed with drowning out the surrounding world with our iPods and trying our best to be as unnoticable as possible. We become so obsessed with miniscule things that we think will make our lives easier at the moment. We believe that paying 150 for a new pair of shoes will change the way we go about our daily lives because it will make us better and more presentable. But will we remember these things in 20 years?
Yet, at the same time, will we remember the way our foot felt on the pavement one day in 20 years?
Although we may not live our lives remembering every aspect of our dreams or our childhood, we still remember the most crucial and life changing parts.
I personally think I have the ability to notice when the space between my thumb and forfinger has an itchy feeling, or that the way im sitting right now is slightly cutting off the circulation in my leg and hurting the bone in my butt, and that my pinky toe is hurting. Is this not experiancing what my body is feeling? I feel every aspect of pain in my body, and every part that feels okay, I just choose to ignore the parts that are hurting because I am in class and there are other things to be focusing on. Like writing what I'm feeling.
According to the sensory excersize activities we have been doing in class, we truly do not notice the tiny things in our life. When we ignore the rest of the things in life and simply feel what it is like to exist, we realize that the essence of living is much more complex than an iPod may lead us to believe. As I did the sensary awareness excersizes, I found myself doing routine, rhythmic things. I would catch myself getting lost in counting the number of chips in the paint on the wall or the amount of tape used on the paper or reading the words on the signs over and over again. Sometimes I would also find myself tapping my finger or shaking my leg. These ritual things were probably a way for me to calm myself down without having to be so uncomfortable by just focusing on my heart rate or breathing.
As we did the yoga excersizes, I did notice that there were parts of my body that were very tense. Even simple parts of my body that I use every day, such as my calf or my thigh. What was interesting to me is that if I got into a position that would strain parts of my body that hurt or was uncomfrotable, after a while my body would get used to it and accept it, probably the same way it accepts sitting in a hard chair for 6 hours every day. I walked out of that class feeling loose, and like if any muscle in my body needed to be used, it was relaxed and ready for the job. However, the next day I felt the after-affects. My body was very sore, mostly my stomach and thighs. The following days I would notice how tight my body felt, yet this was how my body felt every day. I decided that as a way to help my body, I should make an attempt at doing yoga more often in order to feel that loose feeling again and get to a point where I no longer feel sore or tense the following days.
personal reaction, revised
According to the excerpt reading, we are all zombie-like, barely existing in the world. Personally, I can see how one may think that, but I also believe not all humans are living like that. Clearly the one who developed this theory was one of the exceptions, considering he was wise enough to notice the way we live.
However, I do believe there are ways that the theory proves to be true in our daily lives. We are often consumed with simply where we are going and the quickest way to get there. There are always new gadgets, new technology, that is supposed to make our lives more enjoyable but are simply taking away from our experiance. As we walk down the streets we don't notice the way the air smells or the way our feet are hitting the ground, because we are too consumed with drowning out the surrounding world with our iPods and trying our best to be as unnoticable as possible. We become so obsessed with miniscule things that we think will make our lives easier at the moment. We believe that paying 150 for a new pair of shoes will change the way we go about our daily lives because it will make us better and more presentable. But will we remember these things in 20 years?
Yet, at the same time, will we remember the way our foot felt on the pavement one day in 20 years?
Although we may not live our lives remembering every aspect of our dreams or our childhood, we still remember the most crucial and life changing parts.
I personally think I have the ability to notice when the space between my thumb and forfinger has an itchy feeling, or that the way im sitting right now is slightly cutting off the circulation in my leg and hurting the bone in my butt, and that my pinky toe is hurting. Is this not experiancing what my body is feeling? I feel every aspect of pain in my body, and every part that feels okay, I just choose to ignore the parts that are hurting because I am in class and there are other things to be focusing on. Like writing what I'm feeling.
According to the sensory excersize activities we have been doing in class, we truly do not notice the tiny things in our life. When we ignore the rest of the things in life and simply feel what it is like to exist, we realize that the essence of living is much more complex than an iPod may lead us to believe. As I did the sensary awareness excersizes, I found myself doing routine, rhythmic things. I would catch myself getting lost in counting the number of chips in the paint on the wall or the amount of tape used on the paper or reading the words on the signs over and over again. Sometimes I would also find myself tapping my finger or shaking my leg. These ritual things were probably a way for me to calm myself down without having to be so uncomfortable by just focusing on my heart rate or breathing.
However, I do believe there are ways that the theory proves to be true in our daily lives. We are often consumed with simply where we are going and the quickest way to get there. There are always new gadgets, new technology, that is supposed to make our lives more enjoyable but are simply taking away from our experiance. As we walk down the streets we don't notice the way the air smells or the way our feet are hitting the ground, because we are too consumed with drowning out the surrounding world with our iPods and trying our best to be as unnoticable as possible. We become so obsessed with miniscule things that we think will make our lives easier at the moment. We believe that paying 150 for a new pair of shoes will change the way we go about our daily lives because it will make us better and more presentable. But will we remember these things in 20 years?
Yet, at the same time, will we remember the way our foot felt on the pavement one day in 20 years?
Although we may not live our lives remembering every aspect of our dreams or our childhood, we still remember the most crucial and life changing parts.
I personally think I have the ability to notice when the space between my thumb and forfinger has an itchy feeling, or that the way im sitting right now is slightly cutting off the circulation in my leg and hurting the bone in my butt, and that my pinky toe is hurting. Is this not experiancing what my body is feeling? I feel every aspect of pain in my body, and every part that feels okay, I just choose to ignore the parts that are hurting because I am in class and there are other things to be focusing on. Like writing what I'm feeling.
According to the sensory excersize activities we have been doing in class, we truly do not notice the tiny things in our life. When we ignore the rest of the things in life and simply feel what it is like to exist, we realize that the essence of living is much more complex than an iPod may lead us to believe. As I did the sensary awareness excersizes, I found myself doing routine, rhythmic things. I would catch myself getting lost in counting the number of chips in the paint on the wall or the amount of tape used on the paper or reading the words on the signs over and over again. Sometimes I would also find myself tapping my finger or shaking my leg. These ritual things were probably a way for me to calm myself down without having to be so uncomfortable by just focusing on my heart rate or breathing.
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